Going diaper-less

My son received some adorable little boy undies (boxer briefs?) for Christmas and the last two days I've experimented with having him go diaper-free. I haven't been brave enough to attempt letting him sleep without a diaper, but when DS is awake, I've been putting him into the underwear. This actually only amounts to about six or seven hours a day. So far we've had two accidents and three successful eliminations. The first day I found out something I'd long suspected, that DS likes to pee when he's sitting in his high chair. Actually, both accidents took place in the high chair. But I learned from that, and now when he gets the glazed over look and stops paying attention to the food, I know he's about to go and can whisk him to the nearest potty.  This is something I wouldn't have figured out if I hadn't attempted to go diaper free, so I feel like it's already paid off, especially because the cleanup from the accident was minimal. (There is very little carpet in my home.)

I recommend trying this out when you have a couple of days where you don't have to leave the house, I think it would be too stressful to try to watch for your baby's signals when you are out and can be distracted by any number of things. Actually, if you could turn off cable and the Internet, that would help too. Seriously, though. I found that being right with DS the whole time he's diaper-less made me less anxious because I was able to really look for his signs.

I also realized that I want to find a physical sign for him to use to tell me he has to go. Sometimes he pounds on my arm or chest repeatedly - it's a very specific tapping sort of thing - and I think that has to do with his potty needs, but be doesn't do it every time he needs to go, so I need to either encourage that more or start my own sign and start using it consistently. Any ideas?

The Pee-Nightmare Connection

Since he was about six weeks old, DS used to start screaming as if in extreme pain in the middle of the night. He would cry, go red in the face and howl with his eyes closed. There was little I could do to soothe him though he would calm down after several minutes and drink a bottle of formula before falling back to sleep. After this continued intermittently over the months, I did a search on "baby nightmares" and found Dr. Greene's site about night terrors in which he explains the pithy terms "confusional arousals" and "nighttime dryness." Apparently these night terrors are brought on by the urge to urinate or the desire by the child to stay dry while sleeping. Once I learned this, I would put DS on the potty when he awoke crying (or screaming) and sure enough, he would pee, often having held quite a bit of liquid in his bladder. Now that he's older (11 months), however, he tends not to wake up in such an agitated state and often when he does wake up, his diaper is already wet and he just wants to be changed and fed. But it was interesting to learn about the link and that it could help some parents who are puzzled by sudden night terrors by their infants or toddlers.

Getting Regular

As of late The Boy and I have developed a part-time EC pattern that seems to work for us. I don't know if I'm betting better at picking up his cues or if I'm just holding him over the toilet more frequently, but we've cut back on diapers and rarely have a #2 miss. It's been five months since I started the EC experiment and I'm quite happy with the results. I'm hoping that by the time he is a year old we will be completely free from daytime diapers.

Our successes to date are as follows:

• The Boy will go in pretty much any toilet I hold him over - including in an airplane, which is quite loud and not just a little drafty.
• He doesn't poop in a diaper when I'm around. By this I mean that as long as I'm near enough to hear him, he'll grunt and look at me before he'll actually go. Number 2 in a diaper is a last resort for him.
• He doesn't pee when his diaper is off and he's not over a toilet. Meaning, I don't have to rush through diaper changes or into/out of baths for fear of getting peed on.
• On average, I catch five pees a day, with between three to five misses. On days when I am using a cloth diaper I usually only miss one or two. I think this is because I pay more attention. I am seriously considering moving to underwear during the day.

A couple of things I've learned that help me:

• Now that The Boy is standing, it's easier to use a pull-up style diaper instead of a tabbed one, which is a detriment to my use of cloth part of my motivation toward underwear. I most often use the Huggies Dry Pants, though I don't know what is available in other areas.
• Because I started EC by holding him over the toilet after he ate, I've continued that pattern and he now waits to go because he knows he will have a chance in the near future.
• Give yourself a break. Right now I don't do much EC if The Boy wakes at night. Sometimes he will look at the bathroom door, which has developed as an EC cue specific to his room. When he does that, I take him in, but if he seems too sleepy, I will just change his diaper and put him back down. For now, I'm happy with our daytime system.

Exclaim in fear

I missed a #2 today. Not to get too graphic, but the clean-up required a tub and a removable shower head. I don't know if #2 is always going to be this sticky, but if it is, I'm sure glad that DS usually waits to go in the toilet. If he were always going #2 in a diaper I'm sure I would dread each little grunt DS ever made. "Oh no! He might be pooping!" I'd exclaim in fear.

But instead I say, "Woo-ee. Sure glad I usually get you over a toilet before this stuff comes out."

Also, I am now almost certain that I don't actually see DS's cue for peeing, but that I instead just take him to the toilet often enough to catch a few pees. This is somewhat disconcerting, as I'd like to eventually get the 'communication' part of EC working. Right now I'm sort of doing elimination timing. I guess it gets DS used to going in the toilet, but it would probably be less work for both of us if I could figure out some way for him to tell me he's gotta go. Any suggestions?

What's In a Vessel?

DS's trigger for eliminating does not appear to be the "pss-pss" sound but instead is when the feeling or act of sitting on his plastic potty chair. DS gets stagefright when I put him on the big toilet seat or hold him over the toilet. EC experts say that the vessel shouldn't matter, so that you are free from having to tote the potty training chair around with you in the car. But for now DS is only comfortable doing the duty on his own toilet, his green portable potty chair.

A Day of EC and Counting Diapers

I wanted to get a better sense of DS's elimination patterns, so we tried a full day of EC, placing DS's potty chair front and center in the TV room. Here's how it went.

6:30 a.m. CATCH - wake-up pee
6:35 a.m. Diaper #1; then 6 oz. milk (formula)
8:00 a.m. Breakfast of pureed apples mixed with baby oatmeal, plus 2 oz. milk
8:15 a.m. CATCH - post-breakfast pee and poo
8:17 a.m. Re-used diaper #1
9:15 a.m. MISS - post-post breakfast pee and poo
9:18 a.m. Diaper #2
9:30 a.m. 2 oz. milk; morning nap
10:15 a.m. MISS - put DS on potty when he woke up but had missed a pee; Diaper #3
10:45 a.m. Snack/meal - 1 jar of pumpkin/sweetcorn puree and 2 oz. milk
11:15 a.m. CATCH - poo; re-used diaper #3
11:40 a.m. Stroller walk
12:00 p.m. MISS/CATCH - caught tail-end of pee session when I put DS on his potty chair
12:10 p.m. 2 oz. milk; MISS - DS peed in my lap and we both laughed hysterically
12:13 p.m. Diaper #4
12:20 p.m. Nap
1:45 p.m. MISS - put DS on potty but he had already peed while napping
1:46 p.m. Diaper #5
2:00 p.m. 3 oz. milk
2:45 p.m. MISS - diaper was already wet; Diaper #6
3:00 p.m. Snack/meal - jar of applesauce
3:20 p.m. Put on potty; no results
3:30 p.m. Went to the store
4:30 p.m. MISS - Diaper #7
4:45 p.m. Bath - Diaper #8
5:00 p.m. 5 oz. milk
5:15 p.m. CATCH - pre-bed pee; re-used Diaper #8
5:30 p.m. Bedtime

By the end of the day I was exhausted, and dismayed that there were more misses than catches. But by spending a day focusing on EC, we had more catches than ever before in a single day. I was upset that we did not significantly reduce the number of diapers used, but this should not have been a surprise since with EC you are checking/removing the diaper frequently. The benefit is that your baby never is sitting in a wet or dirty diaper for an extended period of time. EC days (or chunks of days) are important for getting a better understanding of your child's elimination patterns, but I admit I was so burned out after our EC day that I didn't try to catch anything for the next two days.

I've become less intense about EC of late and typically only put DS on the potty after waking and meals. It's been less stressful for both of us, and still we are seeing progress. DS seems to recognize the purpose of sitting on his potty chair (he crawls off of it when he doesn't need it), and he seems extremely relieved (no pun intended) to be able to have a BM on his potty rather than in his diaper. The challenge in training babies when they are older (DS is 9 months old) is that they are used to eliminating in their diapers. So the baby holds it until you put the diaper ON him. It's important to stay the course during this "re-training" process and to celebrate the little victories, like the other day when DS stared at me and willed me to place him on his potty, after which he immediately went #2. Little stinky wonderful victories.

Midnight WeePee

Last night DS woke up around 2 a.m., which is not unusual. He usually only wakes once in the night - I feed him and he falls right back to sleep. So last night, when he woke, I assumed it was business as usual. But once he'd eaten, he was acting just a little bit different. He wasn't crying or fussy, just more alert than usual. I laid him in his crib, and started to go back to bed, when I thought, "Maybe he's got to go to the bathroom." I worry about taking him into a lighted bathroom in the middle of the night because I don't want to get him all riled up so that he won't go back to sleep. But last night I decided to take him in and see if he'd go. As soon as I held him over the toilet, he pooped. It was my first nighttime catch. He went right back to sleep, and so did I. I really feel like we are making progress. DS on letting me know he's got to go, and me on understanding him.

Changes

My experience with EC continues to be a bit of a roller coaster. DS is now six months old and has started solids, and he has definitely changed his elimination patterns, but the good news is that I have now actually learned his signals for #2. I think that prior to the last three weeks, I wasn't so much watching for DS's cues as I was timing his needs. I would hold him over the toilet when he woke up, and after he ate. But after he started solids, he was going #2 more frequently, but with less regularity, so I was missing most of the day's later BMs. This was when I realized that I was just counting on the normal schedule of his bowels and not on actually communicating with him. Last week I had a really good few days, and I was thinking, "Wow. We've really got this thing down." Then Saturday I missed every elimination. It isn't a huge deal mess-wise, because I am currently using "disposable" diapers, which I keep trying to talk myself out of using. He outgrew his cloth diapers, so I'm just too lazy to pick a new batch of cloth diapers, and I keep thinking I'm going to try out gPants, but I'd have to get them shipped, and in a way, it feels ridiculous to ship eco-friendly diapers halfway around the world so that I can save Mother Earth. So instead I just waffle and feel guilty with every diaper I throw away. Maybe the guilt will drive me to full-time EC.

But back to the communication (or lack thereof). I then read Jane Brody's column about talking to your child instead of looking at your cell phone or iPod.

The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association urges parents to reinforce communication efforts by looking at the baby and imitating vocalizations, laughter and facial expressions.

“Talk while you are doing things,” the association suggests. “Talk about where you are going, what you will do once you get there, and who and what you’ll see.”

You might say things like, “Now we’re going to put on your socks,” “We’re going in the car to see Grandma,” or, “When we get to the playground, I’ll push you on the swing.”

Reading this, I felt another twinge of guilt, because although sometimes I do find myself fighting the urge to check email when DS is awake, my real challenge is finding a way to talk to DS about the things we are doing. As the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (Is this a real organization? Who do they represent? Everyone who speaks, uses language or hears? I guess it makes a potentially huge membership pool.) recommends, it's as easy as just giving a travelogue or pointing out things in the house. But I hear myself doing that and it sounds so unnatural. "There's a book, there's your toy, that's blue ..." I am trying to get over my weird fear/shyness, but it's difficult. I think that's why I like EC, it's more like listening to your baby instead of being the one in charge of the talk. And now that I think about it, DS is really a rather vocal little child. He loves to talk and will babble on and on while I give him baths and get him dressed. Maybe he doesn't need me to talk to him because he's already figured out that I'm a good listener. ;)

Photo from Seth W. via Flickr, used through Creative Commons License

Aches and Pains

For all you wimps out there who think early potty training is not for you, use me as an example. After taking a week off of potty-training for my soon-to-be 9-month old because of travel, I started again in full force but managed to tweak my left lat after a day of lifting DS over the big potty. (I was also one of those new moms who developed De Quervain's tendonitis

after lifting DS one too many times from his playpen.) So we will go back to using the little potty and hoping that DS will soon learn to climb onto it on his own.

Despite the aches and pains, I'm still convinced that early potty training is the way to go, and not just because I don't like to change dirty diapers (which like my co-blogger I do hate with a vengeance). It's because my active 20-pounder feels much freer out of his bulky diaper. You can see the joy in his face when he is released from his disposables and allowed to crawl and roll around in the buff. I may sound like a broken record about this but it's what keeps me trying with EC.

I liken the experience of potty training to that of a puppy. Can you imagine forcing a puppy to wear a diaper for the first year or two of his life? He'd be the laughingstock of his puppy peers. Just like we train puppies to eliminate in a certain place (e.g., on a pad, outdoors on grass), we should be able to train our just-as-smart babies to eliminate on cue or based on some other "trigger" (e.g., sitting on one's potty, or removal of one's diaper/underpants).

I truly believe that anything worth doing takes effort, whether you're a superwoman or not, so we'll push forward--temporary back pain and all.

Worth the effort

This last week has not been a particularly good one for elimination communication in my home. I think it started because I got sick, and I got lazy. Plus the kid is getting kind of heavy and I was in a weakened state. So all I was trying to do was catch DS's #2s. He is usually pretty consistent (after breakfast) so it wasn't really all that hard. After that, I would occasionally try for a #1, but generally I just left him in a diaper. Then he got sick, and the #2 became less predictable. So I was watching a little more closely, but he was also little loose, and I missed a few. And man, do I dislike cleaning up a missed #2. And I don't mean it was "missed" and ended up all over the floor or anything. I just mean he pooped in his diaper. Now that I'm used to not cleaning up sat-upon baby poop, cleaning up after an in-diaper poop is really quite a drag.

Which brings me to this realization. The small amount of effort required to get your baby accustomed to going #2 in a toilet is so worth the payoff of avoiding the post-poop wipe down. Seriously. Hold your baby over a toilet. It's worth it, I promise. DS is no longer sick, and we are back to a #2-in-the-toilet routine. I may qualify as the world's laziest part-time ECer, but I don't clean up poop. (Very often.) Just something to think about.

Babywearing

Many EC advocates also advocate babywearing as a way to be more in touch with your baby's elimination cues. I found myself carrying my son a lot, mostly because we live downtown and the sidewalks are uneven at best, and frequently completely unnavigable. Taking a stroller is possible, but it means taking even longer to get anywhere I want to go. So I usually just carry DS, which has led me on a months-long search for the best carrier. First, some sites about carrying baby:
The Baby Wearer has useful articles about babywearing.
The Sling Station offers a variety of slings

Here are my thoughts on the pros and cons of each of the following carriers:

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Air

I think that this design is the same as the classic Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier, it just uses a different wicking-type of fabric for those of us who live in ridiculously hot climates.

Ease of Use: Putting the Baby Bjorn on is a breeze. It is also easy to put baby in, and once in, the baby is very secure. I never worried about my son squirming out, because it is really not possible.

Comfort: The Baby Bjorn is great for infants, I loved walking around the city with my son tucked cutely in front of me. But as soon as he was about 15 lbs (7 kilos), I noticed it was more difficult to wear the Baby Bjorn for long periods of time without it really affecting my shoulders and back. Also, if the two shoulder straps aren't exactly even, the Bjorn seems to put all the weight on whichever shoulder's strap is slightly tighter. It seems that if your baby leans to one side or the other it will throw off this perfect balance. Also, some babywearing camps say that carrying your baby with the weight mainly on the crotch will lead to spinal damage. I think that limited use of the Bjorn isn't going to do long-term damage, as I think most adults get sick of carrying a baby long before the baby does.

Temperature: The 'Air' version seems to provide air flow to the baby, though the straps going across your back are solid, so you'll be sweating there, and you and your baby are pressed belly-to-belly, so you and the baby will probably create some heat there. Basically it provides more air circulation to the baby's back, which is good, but limited relief for the adult.

Slinglings

Pouch sling made in Seattle, suitable for newborn up to 35 lbs.

Ease of Use: By far the smallest and most convenient of the baby carriers, my slingling is super compact, and ridiculously light. It's basically a pouch that you put over your head and one arm. In theory you can put an infant in it hammock-style, but my son wouldn't have any of that. Once he was big enough to kind of sit, I started using the Slingling with him sitting on my hip with his legs out. He is not a legs-in kind of child. Simple to use. No straps or extra fabric.

Comfort: This is pretty comfortable, I think getting the right size is very important, but assuming you do procure the correct size, a Slingling is an easy way to simulate carrying your baby with your arms, while still freeing up your arms. DS is six months now, and as he has gotten bigger he seems more comfortable in the Slingling. When I initially started putting him in the seated position, I was worried that if he squirmed or straightened too much he could slide through. (This is probably more an indicator of his being too small for the position, but still.) I'd recommend the seated position for babies that are at least 12 lbs, and I see lots of infants being worn hammock-style in a pouch sling, so there is a good chance it would work for a different baby.

Temperature: I have the black sling, which can be roasty toasty in the sun, but is also good for when DS wants to fall asleep, it makes the inside of the sling pocket quite dark. The fabric is 97% cotton 3% lycra, it's fairly breathable and not terribly thick, but whenever he falls asleep in it, he wakes up rather warm or sweating. It's not too hot on the wearer, and if you employ a fabric flip on the shoulder, even less of your body is covered by the fabric.

Ring Sling

Assorted manufacturers, suitable from newborn to 35 lbs.

Ease of Use: I found the ring sling provided a level of adjustability that was lacking from the Slingling, but it also comes with a lot more fabric. The nice part about a ring sling is that you can set the pouch to about how tight you want it, but then pull on either the bottom side of the fabric or the top side to tighten specific areas (head support, underneath baby's bottom) of the fabric around the baby.

Comfort: Similar to the Slingling, the ring sling distributes your baby's weight over one shoulder and the opposite hip.

Temperature: This is hotter than the Slingling, but not as hot as the Moby Wrap. Some companies produce linen or other more breathable material versions that might make the ring sling less hot, but I've found that draping material around oneself always leads to an increase in overall temperature, regardless of the fabric type.


Moby Wrap
The Moby Wrap is basically a long piece of fabric that you can wrap around you and your baby in a variety of ways.

Ease of Use: I found the length of the Moby Wrap to be hard to maneuver. Especially if you are trying to put it on in a parking lot or other not-so-clean place. Keeping the ends of the wrap off the ground is nigh impossible. I think this is a baby carrier that is difficult to get used to using, but once you do, the payoff is high. As long as you live in a cold climate.

Comfort: The Moby Wrap is comfortable, my son always feels secure (to me) when he's wrapped in it. I really liked this carrier for the early months, when my son was small and just slept and wanted to be held. It provides a close carry, but because of that it can be rather hot.

Temperature: Toasty. To be worn in cold weather or well-air-conditioned environments. It is cotton, but I found that humidity is a killer with this wrap. Warm but breezy places might be ok. The user guide's photos are all of a woman wearing a sweatshirt on a beach, so if you live in Southern California, this is the carrier for you. One nice thing about the Moby Wrap is that if you do live in a cold place and are taking baby outside at length but need to breastfeed, you can wrap up in the Moby skin-to-skin, then put a (large) button up shirt over both of you, or in less breastfeedy situation, put the Moby over your clothes, but put your coat over you and the baby. I like this idea, but haven't tried it.

Scootababy
I just recently got a Scootababy, and so far I've really enjoyed it. The carrier has a minimum weight of 12 lbs (6.8 kg), so it's not for newborns. It also requires a little bit of sitting ability. I'd recommend it start being used once you naturally being carrying your baby on your hip.

Ease of Use: It's pretty simple. There is one buckle on the waist belt, and the other strap just goes over your head. The thing I've enjoyed most about this is the shoulder straps are very easy to adjust with one hand. This makes slight adjustments to the whole setup quite simple, which makes for a pleasant carrying experience.

Comfort: The shoulder strap has a stretchy fleece section that rests over your shoulder, and it is brilliant. The distribution of weight is fabulous, there is no cutting into your neck or arm. This carrier truly does put the baby's weight all on your hips. It mimics almost exactly the natural action of carrying your baby on your hip. Except that you have your arms free!

Temperature: The interior of the Scootababy is textured to give some air flow to the baby, which it seems to do. It is still warm though, as is any large piece of fabric placed behind your baby. The waist strap must be worn tight across your hips, so it's warm, which is to be expected. One downside to the side carry is that putting something over your shoulder restricts the movement of that arm. I found I was sweating more from the non-baby side because I couldn't lift that arm up as much for ventilation.
One other great thing about Scootababy is their demo video. Just watch until she lifts her child into the carrier and tell me whether or not you are surprised he's still being carried.

Combi Milliyocca
I bought this carrier in Asia, it's a Combi product. I have yet to really find any instructions in English, but it seems pretty straightforward. It is kind of a hybrid pouch sling, with a little corset-style flair.

Ease of Use: Pretty simple - goes over your head and one arm, baby sits inside. One advantage to this sling is that there is an additional piece of fabric on the inside of the sling that has two leg holes (like the baby swings), which makes it so that your baby couldn't just straighten up her/his body and slide out the bottom.

Comfort: Not great. It's simple, but designed to rest against your neck, which can only last so long. Plus, the sling seems designed for a baby who can hold his/her head up, but the wearer's comfort would significantly decrease with the increasing weight of the child.

Temperature: Cool. The Milliyocca's minimal fabric makes for good hot-weather wearing for both carrier and carried.

REI Piggyback Child Carrier

This is the hard-core hiking version of a baby carrier. It has a lot of features that will appeal to people who are looking to take longer outings - a place for a water bladder, a toy clip, a backpack for extra gear, a water bottle pocket, a padded headrest for baby. There are probably other things too, it's a gear junkie's baby carrier.

Ease of Use: If you don't mind fastening a lot of buckles, it's pretty straightforward, but not quick. The baby has to be buckled in, which means putting him/her through shoulder straps and fastening a waist belt, then two outer wing protectors. Once the child is secure, the carrier puts on the backpack, which has a waist strap and shoulder straps. And that's assuming you have both baby and adult's strap-height adjustments all correct. If you are a regular backpacking outdoorsperson, this carrier will not be complicated, but if you've never owned an external frame pack, I'd recommend going into REI to get fitted and to learn about adjusting the straps.

Comfort: The carrier is comfy if you have the pack adjusted correctly for your height. The weight of the pack will rest mainly on your hips, but you can adjust the shoulder straps to redistribute the weight. The child's seat is padded, but looks like it might be kind of narrow for those worried about the proper spinal position. My son is just now big enough to be carried in this, and he seems to really enjoy it. I think as he gets a little bigger we will take him out in it more.

Temperature: Pretty warm for the adult, as you have a large backpack pressed against your back and a thick padded waistbelt around your middle. My son seems to stay quite cool, though, so this pack is good for the child's temperature. And if you're really hiking, you were planning on getting sweaty, right?

What baby carriers do you like? What works or doesn't for your lifestyle, temperature, and particular baby preferences?

Potty Training Books

DS and I hit a lull in potty training--I kept missing cues--so I headed to the library to find some books for guidance. I borrowed two books about potty training at a young age and a general book on potty training. The latter was not particularly useful to me, though it did include a chapter about how older children can be potty-trained in one day, which makes me wistful until I remember it would suck to be a baby stuck in a lumpy diaper for several years.

The other books gave me the boost I needed - Potty Training Your Baby by Katie Warren did not rate high on Amazon but I appreciated the author's positive attitude towards potty training and parenting. It was also refreshing to read a non-EC account of how you can potty train your child early (potty training secrets have been passed down in her family from generation to generation). Unlike EC, however, Warren says that babies should wait until they can sit on their own before getting started.

The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh is great for anyone going the EC route. Gross-Loh has suggestions for EC-ers starting out at different stages - newborn, middle infancy, mobile baby and toddler. She also elaborates on what it means to be a full-time, part-time or occasional EC-er, which helps to take the pressure off of parents who think they need to be practicing EC 24-7. She reviews concepts like EC "on-the-go" and how to EC at night, and also lets parents off the hook if they don't want to EC at those times. Finally, the book includes a helpful resource section listing online retailers selling EC (and babywearing) gear, potty training and parenting support groups on Yahoo and elsewhere online, and publications about EC.

So I'm reinvigorated and have launched back into part-time EC-ing with a vengeance. Takeaways from both books: don't stress, keep it fun, and go with the flow. Another added benefit of early potty training which both authors mention is that it makes you more attuned to your child and creates a unique bond between parent and child, similar to teaching him/her any new skill. It's creating a bond between Grandma and grandson as well!

Peeing Vs. Going #2

I thought that BMs would be easier to train than peeing, but now that I'm a couple of days into more than occasional Elimination Communication, I'm finding that #1 is easier to train. DS successfully peed in his potty twice yesterday and once today. All of the incidents occurred after waking in the morning or post-nap. We had a spraying incident yesterday, but the other times DS waited until I had positioned him on his potty chair and for me to give him the psss-psss signal before he peed. This is big progress for us, because in the past DS would often pee when I lifted his diaper off.

When he did go into BM mode, I put him on the potty with his clothes on so he could start associating sitting on the potty with going #2. (He usually finishes his BMs too quickly for me to get his diaper off to get on the potty.) Since he started using a baby potty chair, he stopped following the pattern of going #2 right after eating, so it's hard to predict when he'll go. So we'll focus on peeing for now.

Having saved a couple of disposables through EC just over the past couple of days, I've been motivated to find a greener diaper alternative but became overwhelmed quickly after reading about gdiapers, tushies, happy heinys, bumgenius and other flushable/cloth variations with cute names. I tried Huggies' Pure & Natural diapers, which are made of organic cotton and some renewable materials but don't really do much to reduce the number of diapers in landfills. I also obtained a pair of the open-crotch diapers that one of my sisters brought back from a trip to China and am keen to give them a try.

As my co-blogger and other EC-ers have mentioned, success in EC means changing the parent's attitude about elimination and what is acceptable in terms of convenience, messiness, and not expecting that a baby will be diaper-free overnight. I do think someone should invent a just-in-case diaper that is easy to pull off for EC training, but maybe that's unrealistic and, echoing Morgan's earlier blog post, would just be an infant-potty-training crutch. The important thing is that DS thinks that getting on the potty is a new game and it doesn't disrupt his routine or make him upset. In fact he quite enjoys sitting on his potty chair and being out of his diaper.

Success stories about everyday life using EC

Two stories about everyday life using EC.


A few weeks ago, I ran across Carrie Cox's website, Mountain Bugs, which details her experience with elimination communication. Cox's A day in the Life of an EC Family post is a nice sample of what it would be like to do EC full-time. What I really appreciate about her story is that she admits that there are times she doesn't catch her child's signals.

"Around eleven o'clock, just after our shower, Aiko signs for some milk. We snuggle up on the couch and he has a good feed and a cuddle. A half-hour later (usually on the nose) I take him to pee. I know he has to pee at this point but he sometimes resists - he is busy playing. I don't push it (this is the HARDEST pee of the day for me to catch)."

I am realizing that EC really is just parent training, not baby training. It requires persistence and forgiveness. There will be misses, and if a little urine is unacceptable, then EC probably isn't the way to go. I am considering trying a day actually diaper-free, since my son usually wears diapers "in case." Cox has me motivated to be braver and accept that we will make mistakes.

I am certain that Cox is an extremely patient, dedicated mother. She lives in a mountainous (undoubtedly beautiful) part of Canada, and it seems like her son gets to be outside and diaper-less more often than my little tike. Cox makes me wish I wasn't living in a city, where it probably wouldn't be all that socially acceptable for me to let my son pee while we are taking a walk downtown.

The second story about EC is from Diaper Free Baby. Kylene Grell shares what she's learned from having three children - all potty trained in different ways - the third using EC from birth.

"The first time I did EC I experimented with many diaper and diaper alternatives until I found items I was comfortable using. I am now less focused on finding the perfect training pants, small undies, or waterproof gadget. I now know what I like and don't need to spend time thinking about underwear, because the perfect underwear isn't as important as the communication.

Communication is half of the term “elimination communication” and it is at least as important as the elimination if not more. I don't feel like I really achieved the kind of communication with my son that was necessary for the kind of EC success I now enjoy with my daughter.

Now that the newness, excitement, and novelty of a baby peeing in the potty has passed I am more able to focus on the real communication."

I found Grell's description of her method with her second child to be very much the way I am approaching EC with my son. I am all about finding the perfect diaper that allows me to use EC without having to risk a mess, but the more I read people's experiences, the more I find that my use of this crutch is preventing real EC. It's just so darn scary!

He peed in the potty!

DS peed in his new potty chair! We ended up buying an apple green BabyBjorn Little Potty, which seems to be the EC community's baby potty of choice. We received the potty in the mail yesterday and I plopped DS down on it when he woke up this morning and lo and behold, he peed! That was our only success of the day, even though after that first pee I morphed from being an occasional EC'er to an obsessed one, springing into action after each meal and sudden change of facial expression to rip off his diaper, place him on his potty, and shout "shh, shh" in his ear.

Because of my zeal, he might be experiencing some stagefright (no BMs today) but so far he's not resisting sitting on the potty and seems to quite like it. There's nothing cuter than seeing your baby, who recently mastered sitting up on his own, hanging out on a plastic green potty. Apart from looking cute, DS seemed to enjoy the freedom of being unfettered from his diaper.

I'm not sure how long he'll be able to use this potty but currently at 29 inches tall and 20 pounds (7+ months old), the little potty is a perfect fit. Call me a wimp, but having DS sit on his own with a little support from me works a lot better than trying to lift him onto the big potty.

Starting solids

My little pooper is starting solids soon, and I am a little freaked about what that's going to do to my ability to predict his elimination. Right now we have a pretty successful eat-then-go system. But I think eating solids may change the pattern. Is this true? Any advice on what to expect?

Making It Fun

When shopping for a potty chair, I came across this cute Riding Potty Chair by Potty Scotty. DS would definitely be attracted to this chair because of the colors and cartoon face (is it a bunny? a puppy?). I almost bought it but then thought: would DS forever associate riding with elimination? I had been planning to buy a Little Tikes Rocking Puppy ride-on toy as his next big fun toy. Would the riding potty solve one problem by potty-training DS but then create another -- making the act of riding a trigger for a pee or BM? Would we have to avoid carousels in the future? The nice thing about the Potty Scotty chair is that you can detach the front and it transforms into a basic potty that your child can sit on rather than straddle. So if Mr. Bunny becomes too distracting, you would have the flexibility to take the front "fun" part off.

Since I haven't bought a potty chair and I got rid of my crappy excuse for a potty seat, I've been trying to put DS on the toilet. After meals, I rush him to the toilet, lift the seat and lower him down. But he just giggles and thinks I'm playing a game. I tried the "sss-sss" sound but that just makes him giggle AND shriek with laughter. He doesn't associate the toilet with eliminating at all. Sigh.

Hence the search for a potty chair. I don't think you can be sure what type of chair will work for your child until he or she uses it. The unfortunate part is that you can easily be stuck with multiple potty chairs or seats as many companies don't allow them to be returned for hygienic reasons. Reading reviews online, I saw that many parents had gone through 4 or 5 chairs before finding the one that worked for their child.

I like the riding potty, but I'm leaning towards buying a simple baby potty in a fun color. Maybe that's all the fun needed to encourage a child to do his business?

Diaper Doubters

I get curious stares from folks when I take my 5-month old into the toilet at restaurants, and occasionally a brave person will step in to tell me that they have a better place for me to "change" my baby's diaper. I will thank them, then explain that he's actually using the toilet. The responses vary from skeptical to judgmental, but I smile and carry on. Regardless, people tend to ask, "Does it work?" The answer is yes. But since I'm hardly an expert, I've been collecting some resources for those who want more information from other parents who've tried EC.

James Woodford's article from The Sydney Morning Herald: Woodford was a skeptic but ultimately came around as his wife potty trained their fourth child using EC. (It's never too late to start!)

A portion of the article that I wholeheartedly agree with.

"Intrigued mothers, friends of Prue, tried the same method with their babies and also discovered it worked. As she explained, "What do you reckon the billions of mothers who can't afford nappies do?"

"Must be messy?" one interested father asked me, man-to-man.

"Not as messy as changing nappies."

And that's the real beauty of it: it's not messy because the mess goes straight into the dunny. It's not time-consuming, because there's no gruesome, nose-pegged wiping of rolls of fat and dimples. It's not complicated and it can't be more stressful for a baby than having daks full of do."

I dread the times when I miss DS's cues, because cleaning a diaper is so much more unpleasant than sending the waste straight into the toilet.

The web site Treehuger has quite a few posts on some eco-friendly diapering options, including infant potty training. Treehugger links to Adam Stein's post on Terrapass calculating some of the numbers of diaper waste. I found this idea interesting, but probably unlikely:

"I suppose a powerful economic incentive might be to give parents some kind of break on pre-school or daycare costs if their kids are potty trained by age 2. But it’s a bit difficult to imagine the government program that would result, and all too easy to imagine the pushback from those who don’t want the government involved in toilet training in any case."

From the Treehugger post about diapers/nappies, a list of companies trying for the hybrid biodegradable diaper/nappy:
Greenfibres offers flushable diaper liners.
Baby's Organic Nursery has cloth diapers with flushable liners.
Naty offers non-chlorine, recycled material diapers and claims to be "working towards a 100% natural disposable nappy."
Ecoquest plans to launch a diaper line.

"After considerable investment over a number of years, EcoQuest has successfully developed a new disposable nappy which, at the conclusion of six months independent scientific testing, achieved more than 90% of its maximum theoretical value for biodegradation."

Diaper Hyena offers a wealth of information about diapering of all kinds.

Gravity helps

Is it possible that babies actually prefer to poop on a toilet rather than go in their diapers? When DS and I made it to the toilet in time for him to do a #2, he had a longer poo than normal. It seems that he could relax and let it all out, rather than be impeded by a wall of diaper. For peeing, DS definitely prefers to wait until I undo his diaper to let it flow. For pooping, allowing gravity to help the process while seated works for both DS and DH, who like other men spends an awful lot of time "in his office."

So we are trying out a new potty seat. DS was attracted to the colors and tried to grab the cup (which may not be standard for all potty seats), which promptly fell into the toilet (better than the time when his binky fell in -- ick). For us it's all about timing -- getting DS to the toilet before he does his business. I don't have the technique down quite like my co-blogger yet. Maybe we'll try the split or open-crotch pants that babies wear in China, though this article says that urban Chinese are favoring disposable diapers now over peeing in the street. I'm definitely not forcing DS to get on the potty every time he needs to poo, and right now his favorite place to go is his exersaucer (not diaper-free), which though again shows that gravity helps.

Toilets on the Fly

Last week my whole WeePee system was disrupted when the family went on a trip. I had hoped to continue my potty training while in transit, but quickly realized that I value cleanliness more than consistency. This may be my downfall, as most things I read say that consistency is key for successful potty training. Oh well.

Luckily, the web site Sit or Squat (also available as a mobile phone app) means I have a chance at successful travel EC. The site allows you to put in your location and will find nearby toilets! No more dirty gas station lavs! Check it out.

Diapers: Landfill vs Water-waster

Before my son was born I was fairly certain that I would use cloth diapers. I just couldn't figure out which ones, or how it would really work. There are waterproof outers, rubber covers, flushable liners, washable liners, diaper doublers, hemp, cotton, prefold, snap, velcro and tie. It was sort of too much for me, so the first few weeks we used disposable diapers that had been given to us at baby showers. I felt ok about it because the baby books said newborns are often too small for most diapers. Then my sister-in-law gave us a set of cloth diapers from cricketts diapers, which we used for a bit, but which are actually too hot to be used in non-air conditioned settings. DS was actually sweating through them, rather than wetting through them. I subsequently found that the liners could be used without adding too much heat, so I adapted the system slightly and lined a waterproof outer with two diaper doublers. But I digress. I think more people would use cloth if a company made it simple to set up a wash/wear system. If you buy disposable diapers, all you need is a garbage can. If you buy cloth you need a pre-wash bin, or a toilet for flushing the liner + a laundry basket for the outer, or 20 diaper covers and liners so that you aren't doing laundry every day. It's complicated and burdensome, so people stick with the simplicity of trash.

Here is my confession: I find myself putting DS more and more in disposables because he soils them less and less. It's like I can only be so eco-friendly, and training my infant to go in the toilet lets me off the hook for using cloth diapers. Makes sense, right? I'm in denial about my apparently minimal commitment to Mother Earth.

The diaper debate is ever present in parenting chats/blogs/forums and made an appearance on the NYT Motherlode Blog today. She asks if people are turning to cloth to save money in this poor economic climate. Many commenters indicated that it was a part of their decision, but most also said that their time was a key factor in deciding to go with cloth. Spending a minute swishing a cloth diaper around in water is no big deal when you are spending most of your day with your child, but if I worked full-time outside of my home, I wouldn't want to waste time pre-washing cloth diapers, (and then real-washing them later.) It is a huge question, and one that doesn't have an easy answer. For me, mixing cloth and disposable has worked the best. It's just so easy to be lazy, and so hard to remember how many tons of landfill waste we are adding each day.

Photo by Photocapy from Flickr used through Creative Commons License

Over the potty technique

One of the things that kept me from trying infant potty training was my inability to imagine how to hold the baby over the toilet without him urinating on his own legs or on me. I now think that waiting until he was 3 months really helped, because his legs are now long enough that I can rest his calves on the front of the toilet seat, keeping his legs out of the way and his bum accurately aimed. So for those of you interested in the logistics of getting a baby undressed and over the toilet with minimal risk to carpet and/or yourself, here's how I WeePee.

1. Pre-WeePee: As I mentioned in a previous post, I take DS to the toilet after he eats, so that there is a pattern to his WeePee association.

2. En Route to Toilet: I carry him in one arm, facing away from me. I use the other arm to unsnap his onesie. I found that holding him upright while unsnapping puts enough tension on the snaps that I can pull them apart by just pulling one side. If he's wearing trousers that day, I take these off before walking to the toilet.

3. Parent Placement: Upon arriving at the toilet I either sit on an exercise ball, a stool, or I kneel/squat.

a) Exercise Ball: I have an exercise ball in one bathroom that I use for me to sit on while holding DS on the toilet. I found this to be the easiest "seat" for me because I can sit while I undo DS's diaper, then roll forward to adjust DS's placement on the toilet. Once I'm done, I'm able to easily stand and then I can just kick the ball under the sink and out of the way until next WeePee.
b) Stool: Similar to ball, but stool height can vary - I have a shorty that can help if DS is taking a long time to decide if he actually wants to go.
c) Kneel/Squat: In the bathroom without the ball, I usually kneel on one leg (think marriage proposal or youth soccer photo), put DS on the thigh of the bent leg while I undo his diaper, then lift onto the toilet as before. This is slightly harder, but I consider it part of my overall abdominal workout/core strengthening routine. Sometimes I will move from a kneel to a squat and DS provides enough counterweight that I don't tip over backward. Usually.

4. Unfastening The Diaper: If I am using diapers that have velcro or sticky tabs, I re-secure these tabs to the back side of diaper before I remove it from the baby. This facilitates easier diaper replacement once baby is done WeePeeing. If the diaper is still clean, I will tear off a little bit of TP for post-WeePee clean up so that I can continue with the same diaper. If I'm using cloth diapers and it's soiled, I usually dump the diaper into the wet bin after I've used it for any necessary wiping.

5. Removal of Diaper: I try to lift DS out of the diaper in a way that keeps the diaper open on my lap so that I can just sit him back into it when he's done. But usually the diaper falls to the ground or sticks to his legs or clothes so I have to kind of wiggle him about until the diaper is completely off. (This part of my technique is lacking.)

6. Position of Baby on Toilet: I hoist DS with one hand under each of his armpits and lift him toward the toilet back-first. I keep him only high enough that his bum will clear the seat, that way his legs catch on the toilet seat edge and ideally don't go into the basin (although they have). This can be a strenuous hold depending on your shoulder strength and the weight of the baby. I frequently put my elbows on the edge of the toilet seat for support. Since I don't have other children or a spouse who pee on the seat, I'm okay doing this in terms of cleanliness, but should you be faced with a less-than-desirable toilet situation, this would need to be adapted. I have found that paper seat covers work well in public toilets, and I have thought about ordering a pack to take with me in case the facilities don't have any.

7. Going: Once baby is placed over the toilet, make a "pss-pss" or "sss-sss" or some noise of your choice that you want to mean "It's OK to go pee and/or poop now, Baby." If all goes well, your child will decide to "go" and you will be filled with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and pride. (Don't cling to the feeling too long. Before you know it, baby will take a clandestine poop while you aren't paying attention.) My DS usually takes a few seconds to look around the bathroom before he kind of zones out and then "goes." If he doesn't zone out, he's likely not going.

8. Not Going: My DS arches his back and tries to get his feet on the toilet seat to stand up when he doesn't need/want to go, so it's pretty simple for me to tell if we are going to WeePee or not. I'm sure your baby will have his/her own way to say "Not now."

9. Reinforcement: If the baby goes, I usually say, "Good Job" or something like it in my best high-pitched Mommy Voice. He usually smiles, which may be because he's associated his actions with the reward of my praise or it may just be that he's happy to be rid of his latest bodily waste. Hard to tell.

10. Wrapping Up: When DS is done, I lift him to standing on the front lip of the toilet seat and hold him with one arm while I use the toilet paper I'd previously torn off to give him a cursory cleaning - enough to prevent dripping while I take him from the toilet to the changing table. I then put the diaper back underneath him (unfastened) and stand up, flush, and take DS to the changing table, where I either properly replace his diaper, or put on a new one, depending on the damage.

The Diaper-Free Baby Experiment

Huh? What? Potty-train my 6-month-old? That was my initial reaction when Morgan asked me to join her in an experiment to potty train our infant DS's. She described how she used a sss-sss sound and held her DS over the toilet before he eliminated (learn more about Elimination Communication).

The next day I tried it. After my DS ate a helping of pureed apple mixed with rice cereal, he started his pre-poop grunting. I snatched him out of his high chair, rushed to the bathroom, but alas it was too late. He had already finished his poo before I could undo the third onesie snap. Not only did I discover that my boy is a quick crapper, but I also found that he is too heavy to hold over a toilet safely with one arm.

I poked around the DiaperFreeBaby website for guidance and clicked on the Take the Diaper-Free Challenge link but wasn't convinced to take the challenge based on the site's info about checklists and support groups. What did pique my interest was a Toronto Star article from one of the sites: "This Mother to Try Potty Training at 3 months". The comments are worth reading as you can get a sense of the opposing camps on the topic of infant potty training. (Some people really think it's a stupid idea.)

The following ideas from the article helped set my expectations about trying the diaper-free experiment:

• It takes commitment and time on the part of the parent(s).


• There are success stories in developed and developing countries.


• If it works for your baby, great! If it doesn't work, don't sweat it.

Since I have the required pre-potty-trained infant and some time to spare, I'm going to give it a shot. Next step--to search for a baby potty seat.

Months One to Three

I didn't being actively "potty training" my son until he was three months old. That is to say, I didn't hold him over a toilet until he was three months old. Prior to that, I was attempting my version of Elimination Communication by making a "pss-pss" sound when I would change his diaper or clothes. Sometimes he would go when I made the sound, sometimes not. Sometimes he was already going, and I would make the sound to attempt an association - my theory being that if he heard the "pss-pss" noise while already peeing, eventually I could make the noise and it would cause him to pee. (Friends have since pointed out that this is not "my theory" at all, but rather classical conditioning a la Pavlov's Dog and may be ethically questionable when applied to a human, but whatever.)


Either way, it wasn't going all that well - and I certainly missed more elimination communication moments than I witnessed. Then a friend came to visit and she told me about a mutual friend of ours who had potty trained her daughter by the time she was a year old. [If you are new to the EC world - "potty trained" in this context doesn't mean that her one-year old was walking into the bathroom and hopping onto the toilet all by herself, but instead that she would indicate to her parents when she had to go and they would help her do so. I will continue to use "potty train(ed/ing)" to refer to successful communication between child and parent resulting in a non-accident scenario.] She said that our mutual friend would just hold her baby over the toilet after every time she ate. It was simple and brilliant, and I implemented the system straightaway.

So the next morning, after DS ate, I took him into the bathroom, and hung his little bum over the seemingly cavernous toilet bowl. I made a "pss-pss" noise. He pooped. He peed. I laughed.
I realized then that I had come into the bathroom with no clean diapers or wipes and had no exit strategy. So I stood him on the edge of the toilet seat and held him with one arm while I reached back down to the diaper I had just removed and attempted to get that diaper back underneath him so I could carry him back to the changing table without risking dripping bodily fluids en route. It worked well enough, and so began our WeePee Baby.

Welcome

Welcome to WeePee Babies, a site about infant potty training for lazy moms. We are moms who try to minimize our impact on the environment whenever possible. But, we are also lazy. We are trying to find realistic ways to cut down on wasteful baby habits while encouraging the natural abilities of our kids. WeePee Babies subscribes to the notion that babies know when they have to "go," and that it is possible to learn a baby's cues so that you, as a parent, can help your baby control when he or she goes. This is known as "elimination communication," and can be practiced in many forms. Part of the idea is that by diapering your baby, you teach him/her to ignore his/her natural awareness of elimination, and then at two years old, you re-teach the baby to pay attention. Seems silly, no? So by paying a little attention now, you can take advantage of what your baby already knows, and make potty training come more easily later. We aren't expert Earth-Mother types, just everyday people trying to save time and energy when possible.