Cloth diapers

After a few days of getting peed on, I've gone back to using diapers and attempting to hold DS over the toilet often enough to maintain a claim on "potty training."  I've slowly converted to cloth diapers and now use cloth exclusively during the day, and disposables at night. I don't know if this is true of other cloth diaper users, but I found that I had to adjust all of the different types I've tried to fit my needs, and now I have a system that works pretty well. But I wonder if I am being too demanding in my attempt to find a diaper that is lightweight enough to feel like underwear but to hold a missed pee. Perhaps I should be looking at training pants instead. Until I do, here's the rundown of our current diapering system.

I have three different types of cloth diaper outers. One BumGenius, two Gro Baby and two gDiapers. I was given a bunch of infant size Crickett's Diapers by my lovely sister-in-law when DS was born. He is too big for them now, but I saw potential in the diaper doublers that came with the diapers. I found the fabric strips are just about the right absorbency for my one-missed-pee needs. I just needed a cover. So I bought the GroBaby diapers. I would put the Crickett's doubler in the GroBaby outer and it worked okay, but it was difficult to get the diaper on while keeping the doubler in place. So I ordered a trial kit of the gDiapers, thinking I could lay my extra doublers in the liner on the gPant. I just got the gDiapers a week ago, but it has been going pretty well. The only drawback to the gDiapers is that they aren't one-size like the GroBaby, so I'll have to order more once DS grows out of the medium, which he almost is already. (Darn babies, growing so fast!) So I use the BumGenius and GroBaby diapers for outings and when DS takes naps, and the gDiapers with thin liners for when he is awake and I'm trying to potty train. I use about four a day, depending on how attentive I am and if I hear him when he first wakes up (and catch him before he pees in the diaper).


All of this background to say: I need someone to offer a thin liner that allows parents to turn diaper outers into a training pant. I'd buy it.

Getting Regular

As of late The Boy and I have developed a part-time EC pattern that seems to work for us. I don't know if I'm betting better at picking up his cues or if I'm just holding him over the toilet more frequently, but we've cut back on diapers and rarely have a #2 miss. It's been five months since I started the EC experiment and I'm quite happy with the results. I'm hoping that by the time he is a year old we will be completely free from daytime diapers.

Our successes to date are as follows:

• The Boy will go in pretty much any toilet I hold him over - including in an airplane, which is quite loud and not just a little drafty.
• He doesn't poop in a diaper when I'm around. By this I mean that as long as I'm near enough to hear him, he'll grunt and look at me before he'll actually go. Number 2 in a diaper is a last resort for him.
• He doesn't pee when his diaper is off and he's not over a toilet. Meaning, I don't have to rush through diaper changes or into/out of baths for fear of getting peed on.
• On average, I catch five pees a day, with between three to five misses. On days when I am using a cloth diaper I usually only miss one or two. I think this is because I pay more attention. I am seriously considering moving to underwear during the day.

A couple of things I've learned that help me:

• Now that The Boy is standing, it's easier to use a pull-up style diaper instead of a tabbed one, which is a detriment to my use of cloth part of my motivation toward underwear. I most often use the Huggies Dry Pants, though I don't know what is available in other areas.
• Because I started EC by holding him over the toilet after he ate, I've continued that pattern and he now waits to go because he knows he will have a chance in the near future.
• Give yourself a break. Right now I don't do much EC if The Boy wakes at night. Sometimes he will look at the bathroom door, which has developed as an EC cue specific to his room. When he does that, I take him in, but if he seems too sleepy, I will just change his diaper and put him back down. For now, I'm happy with our daytime system.

Exclaim in fear

I missed a #2 today. Not to get too graphic, but the clean-up required a tub and a removable shower head. I don't know if #2 is always going to be this sticky, but if it is, I'm sure glad that DS usually waits to go in the toilet. If he were always going #2 in a diaper I'm sure I would dread each little grunt DS ever made. "Oh no! He might be pooping!" I'd exclaim in fear.

But instead I say, "Woo-ee. Sure glad I usually get you over a toilet before this stuff comes out."

Also, I am now almost certain that I don't actually see DS's cue for peeing, but that I instead just take him to the toilet often enough to catch a few pees. This is somewhat disconcerting, as I'd like to eventually get the 'communication' part of EC working. Right now I'm sort of doing elimination timing. I guess it gets DS used to going in the toilet, but it would probably be less work for both of us if I could figure out some way for him to tell me he's gotta go. Any suggestions?

Changes

My experience with EC continues to be a bit of a roller coaster. DS is now six months old and has started solids, and he has definitely changed his elimination patterns, but the good news is that I have now actually learned his signals for #2. I think that prior to the last three weeks, I wasn't so much watching for DS's cues as I was timing his needs. I would hold him over the toilet when he woke up, and after he ate. But after he started solids, he was going #2 more frequently, but with less regularity, so I was missing most of the day's later BMs. This was when I realized that I was just counting on the normal schedule of his bowels and not on actually communicating with him. Last week I had a really good few days, and I was thinking, "Wow. We've really got this thing down." Then Saturday I missed every elimination. It isn't a huge deal mess-wise, because I am currently using "disposable" diapers, which I keep trying to talk myself out of using. He outgrew his cloth diapers, so I'm just too lazy to pick a new batch of cloth diapers, and I keep thinking I'm going to try out gPants, but I'd have to get them shipped, and in a way, it feels ridiculous to ship eco-friendly diapers halfway around the world so that I can save Mother Earth. So instead I just waffle and feel guilty with every diaper I throw away. Maybe the guilt will drive me to full-time EC.

But back to the communication (or lack thereof). I then read Jane Brody's column about talking to your child instead of looking at your cell phone or iPod.

The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association urges parents to reinforce communication efforts by looking at the baby and imitating vocalizations, laughter and facial expressions.

“Talk while you are doing things,” the association suggests. “Talk about where you are going, what you will do once you get there, and who and what you’ll see.”

You might say things like, “Now we’re going to put on your socks,” “We’re going in the car to see Grandma,” or, “When we get to the playground, I’ll push you on the swing.”

Reading this, I felt another twinge of guilt, because although sometimes I do find myself fighting the urge to check email when DS is awake, my real challenge is finding a way to talk to DS about the things we are doing. As the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (Is this a real organization? Who do they represent? Everyone who speaks, uses language or hears? I guess it makes a potentially huge membership pool.) recommends, it's as easy as just giving a travelogue or pointing out things in the house. But I hear myself doing that and it sounds so unnatural. "There's a book, there's your toy, that's blue ..." I am trying to get over my weird fear/shyness, but it's difficult. I think that's why I like EC, it's more like listening to your baby instead of being the one in charge of the talk. And now that I think about it, DS is really a rather vocal little child. He loves to talk and will babble on and on while I give him baths and get him dressed. Maybe he doesn't need me to talk to him because he's already figured out that I'm a good listener. ;)

Photo from Seth W. via Flickr, used through Creative Commons License

Worth the effort

This last week has not been a particularly good one for elimination communication in my home. I think it started because I got sick, and I got lazy. Plus the kid is getting kind of heavy and I was in a weakened state. So all I was trying to do was catch DS's #2s. He is usually pretty consistent (after breakfast) so it wasn't really all that hard. After that, I would occasionally try for a #1, but generally I just left him in a diaper. Then he got sick, and the #2 became less predictable. So I was watching a little more closely, but he was also little loose, and I missed a few. And man, do I dislike cleaning up a missed #2. And I don't mean it was "missed" and ended up all over the floor or anything. I just mean he pooped in his diaper. Now that I'm used to not cleaning up sat-upon baby poop, cleaning up after an in-diaper poop is really quite a drag.

Which brings me to this realization. The small amount of effort required to get your baby accustomed to going #2 in a toilet is so worth the payoff of avoiding the post-poop wipe down. Seriously. Hold your baby over a toilet. It's worth it, I promise. DS is no longer sick, and we are back to a #2-in-the-toilet routine. I may qualify as the world's laziest part-time ECer, but I don't clean up poop. (Very often.) Just something to think about.

Starting solids

My little pooper is starting solids soon, and I am a little freaked about what that's going to do to my ability to predict his elimination. Right now we have a pretty successful eat-then-go system. But I think eating solids may change the pattern. Is this true? Any advice on what to expect?

Diaper Doubters

I get curious stares from folks when I take my 5-month old into the toilet at restaurants, and occasionally a brave person will step in to tell me that they have a better place for me to "change" my baby's diaper. I will thank them, then explain that he's actually using the toilet. The responses vary from skeptical to judgmental, but I smile and carry on. Regardless, people tend to ask, "Does it work?" The answer is yes. But since I'm hardly an expert, I've been collecting some resources for those who want more information from other parents who've tried EC.

James Woodford's article from The Sydney Morning Herald: Woodford was a skeptic but ultimately came around as his wife potty trained their fourth child using EC. (It's never too late to start!)

A portion of the article that I wholeheartedly agree with.

"Intrigued mothers, friends of Prue, tried the same method with their babies and also discovered it worked. As she explained, "What do you reckon the billions of mothers who can't afford nappies do?"

"Must be messy?" one interested father asked me, man-to-man.

"Not as messy as changing nappies."

And that's the real beauty of it: it's not messy because the mess goes straight into the dunny. It's not time-consuming, because there's no gruesome, nose-pegged wiping of rolls of fat and dimples. It's not complicated and it can't be more stressful for a baby than having daks full of do."

I dread the times when I miss DS's cues, because cleaning a diaper is so much more unpleasant than sending the waste straight into the toilet.

The web site Treehuger has quite a few posts on some eco-friendly diapering options, including infant potty training. Treehugger links to Adam Stein's post on Terrapass calculating some of the numbers of diaper waste. I found this idea interesting, but probably unlikely:

"I suppose a powerful economic incentive might be to give parents some kind of break on pre-school or daycare costs if their kids are potty trained by age 2. But it’s a bit difficult to imagine the government program that would result, and all too easy to imagine the pushback from those who don’t want the government involved in toilet training in any case."

From the Treehugger post about diapers/nappies, a list of companies trying for the hybrid biodegradable diaper/nappy:
Greenfibres offers flushable diaper liners.
Baby's Organic Nursery has cloth diapers with flushable liners.
Naty offers non-chlorine, recycled material diapers and claims to be "working towards a 100% natural disposable nappy."
Ecoquest plans to launch a diaper line.

"After considerable investment over a number of years, EcoQuest has successfully developed a new disposable nappy which, at the conclusion of six months independent scientific testing, achieved more than 90% of its maximum theoretical value for biodegradation."

Diaper Hyena offers a wealth of information about diapering of all kinds.

Over the potty technique

One of the things that kept me from trying infant potty training was my inability to imagine how to hold the baby over the toilet without him urinating on his own legs or on me. I now think that waiting until he was 3 months really helped, because his legs are now long enough that I can rest his calves on the front of the toilet seat, keeping his legs out of the way and his bum accurately aimed. So for those of you interested in the logistics of getting a baby undressed and over the toilet with minimal risk to carpet and/or yourself, here's how I WeePee.

1. Pre-WeePee: As I mentioned in a previous post, I take DS to the toilet after he eats, so that there is a pattern to his WeePee association.

2. En Route to Toilet: I carry him in one arm, facing away from me. I use the other arm to unsnap his onesie. I found that holding him upright while unsnapping puts enough tension on the snaps that I can pull them apart by just pulling one side. If he's wearing trousers that day, I take these off before walking to the toilet.

3. Parent Placement: Upon arriving at the toilet I either sit on an exercise ball, a stool, or I kneel/squat.

a) Exercise Ball: I have an exercise ball in one bathroom that I use for me to sit on while holding DS on the toilet. I found this to be the easiest "seat" for me because I can sit while I undo DS's diaper, then roll forward to adjust DS's placement on the toilet. Once I'm done, I'm able to easily stand and then I can just kick the ball under the sink and out of the way until next WeePee.
b) Stool: Similar to ball, but stool height can vary - I have a shorty that can help if DS is taking a long time to decide if he actually wants to go.
c) Kneel/Squat: In the bathroom without the ball, I usually kneel on one leg (think marriage proposal or youth soccer photo), put DS on the thigh of the bent leg while I undo his diaper, then lift onto the toilet as before. This is slightly harder, but I consider it part of my overall abdominal workout/core strengthening routine. Sometimes I will move from a kneel to a squat and DS provides enough counterweight that I don't tip over backward. Usually.

4. Unfastening The Diaper: If I am using diapers that have velcro or sticky tabs, I re-secure these tabs to the back side of diaper before I remove it from the baby. This facilitates easier diaper replacement once baby is done WeePeeing. If the diaper is still clean, I will tear off a little bit of TP for post-WeePee clean up so that I can continue with the same diaper. If I'm using cloth diapers and it's soiled, I usually dump the diaper into the wet bin after I've used it for any necessary wiping.

5. Removal of Diaper: I try to lift DS out of the diaper in a way that keeps the diaper open on my lap so that I can just sit him back into it when he's done. But usually the diaper falls to the ground or sticks to his legs or clothes so I have to kind of wiggle him about until the diaper is completely off. (This part of my technique is lacking.)

6. Position of Baby on Toilet: I hoist DS with one hand under each of his armpits and lift him toward the toilet back-first. I keep him only high enough that his bum will clear the seat, that way his legs catch on the toilet seat edge and ideally don't go into the basin (although they have). This can be a strenuous hold depending on your shoulder strength and the weight of the baby. I frequently put my elbows on the edge of the toilet seat for support. Since I don't have other children or a spouse who pee on the seat, I'm okay doing this in terms of cleanliness, but should you be faced with a less-than-desirable toilet situation, this would need to be adapted. I have found that paper seat covers work well in public toilets, and I have thought about ordering a pack to take with me in case the facilities don't have any.

7. Going: Once baby is placed over the toilet, make a "pss-pss" or "sss-sss" or some noise of your choice that you want to mean "It's OK to go pee and/or poop now, Baby." If all goes well, your child will decide to "go" and you will be filled with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and pride. (Don't cling to the feeling too long. Before you know it, baby will take a clandestine poop while you aren't paying attention.) My DS usually takes a few seconds to look around the bathroom before he kind of zones out and then "goes." If he doesn't zone out, he's likely not going.

8. Not Going: My DS arches his back and tries to get his feet on the toilet seat to stand up when he doesn't need/want to go, so it's pretty simple for me to tell if we are going to WeePee or not. I'm sure your baby will have his/her own way to say "Not now."

9. Reinforcement: If the baby goes, I usually say, "Good Job" or something like it in my best high-pitched Mommy Voice. He usually smiles, which may be because he's associated his actions with the reward of my praise or it may just be that he's happy to be rid of his latest bodily waste. Hard to tell.

10. Wrapping Up: When DS is done, I lift him to standing on the front lip of the toilet seat and hold him with one arm while I use the toilet paper I'd previously torn off to give him a cursory cleaning - enough to prevent dripping while I take him from the toilet to the changing table. I then put the diaper back underneath him (unfastened) and stand up, flush, and take DS to the changing table, where I either properly replace his diaper, or put on a new one, depending on the damage.

The Diaper-Free Baby Experiment

Huh? What? Potty-train my 6-month-old? That was my initial reaction when Morgan asked me to join her in an experiment to potty train our infant DS's. She described how she used a sss-sss sound and held her DS over the toilet before he eliminated (learn more about Elimination Communication).

The next day I tried it. After my DS ate a helping of pureed apple mixed with rice cereal, he started his pre-poop grunting. I snatched him out of his high chair, rushed to the bathroom, but alas it was too late. He had already finished his poo before I could undo the third onesie snap. Not only did I discover that my boy is a quick crapper, but I also found that he is too heavy to hold over a toilet safely with one arm.

I poked around the DiaperFreeBaby website for guidance and clicked on the Take the Diaper-Free Challenge link but wasn't convinced to take the challenge based on the site's info about checklists and support groups. What did pique my interest was a Toronto Star article from one of the sites: "This Mother to Try Potty Training at 3 months". The comments are worth reading as you can get a sense of the opposing camps on the topic of infant potty training. (Some people really think it's a stupid idea.)

The following ideas from the article helped set my expectations about trying the diaper-free experiment:

• It takes commitment and time on the part of the parent(s).


• There are success stories in developed and developing countries.


• If it works for your baby, great! If it doesn't work, don't sweat it.

Since I have the required pre-potty-trained infant and some time to spare, I'm going to give it a shot. Next step--to search for a baby potty seat.

Months One to Three

I didn't being actively "potty training" my son until he was three months old. That is to say, I didn't hold him over a toilet until he was three months old. Prior to that, I was attempting my version of Elimination Communication by making a "pss-pss" sound when I would change his diaper or clothes. Sometimes he would go when I made the sound, sometimes not. Sometimes he was already going, and I would make the sound to attempt an association - my theory being that if he heard the "pss-pss" noise while already peeing, eventually I could make the noise and it would cause him to pee. (Friends have since pointed out that this is not "my theory" at all, but rather classical conditioning a la Pavlov's Dog and may be ethically questionable when applied to a human, but whatever.)


Either way, it wasn't going all that well - and I certainly missed more elimination communication moments than I witnessed. Then a friend came to visit and she told me about a mutual friend of ours who had potty trained her daughter by the time she was a year old. [If you are new to the EC world - "potty trained" in this context doesn't mean that her one-year old was walking into the bathroom and hopping onto the toilet all by herself, but instead that she would indicate to her parents when she had to go and they would help her do so. I will continue to use "potty train(ed/ing)" to refer to successful communication between child and parent resulting in a non-accident scenario.] She said that our mutual friend would just hold her baby over the toilet after every time she ate. It was simple and brilliant, and I implemented the system straightaway.

So the next morning, after DS ate, I took him into the bathroom, and hung his little bum over the seemingly cavernous toilet bowl. I made a "pss-pss" noise. He pooped. He peed. I laughed.
I realized then that I had come into the bathroom with no clean diapers or wipes and had no exit strategy. So I stood him on the edge of the toilet seat and held him with one arm while I reached back down to the diaper I had just removed and attempted to get that diaper back underneath him so I could carry him back to the changing table without risking dripping bodily fluids en route. It worked well enough, and so began our WeePee Baby.

Welcome

Welcome to WeePee Babies, a site about infant potty training for lazy moms. We are moms who try to minimize our impact on the environment whenever possible. But, we are also lazy. We are trying to find realistic ways to cut down on wasteful baby habits while encouraging the natural abilities of our kids. WeePee Babies subscribes to the notion that babies know when they have to "go," and that it is possible to learn a baby's cues so that you, as a parent, can help your baby control when he or she goes. This is known as "elimination communication," and can be practiced in many forms. Part of the idea is that by diapering your baby, you teach him/her to ignore his/her natural awareness of elimination, and then at two years old, you re-teach the baby to pay attention. Seems silly, no? So by paying a little attention now, you can take advantage of what your baby already knows, and make potty training come more easily later. We aren't expert Earth-Mother types, just everyday people trying to save time and energy when possible.