Changes

My experience with EC continues to be a bit of a roller coaster. DS is now six months old and has started solids, and he has definitely changed his elimination patterns, but the good news is that I have now actually learned his signals for #2. I think that prior to the last three weeks, I wasn't so much watching for DS's cues as I was timing his needs. I would hold him over the toilet when he woke up, and after he ate. But after he started solids, he was going #2 more frequently, but with less regularity, so I was missing most of the day's later BMs. This was when I realized that I was just counting on the normal schedule of his bowels and not on actually communicating with him. Last week I had a really good few days, and I was thinking, "Wow. We've really got this thing down." Then Saturday I missed every elimination. It isn't a huge deal mess-wise, because I am currently using "disposable" diapers, which I keep trying to talk myself out of using. He outgrew his cloth diapers, so I'm just too lazy to pick a new batch of cloth diapers, and I keep thinking I'm going to try out gPants, but I'd have to get them shipped, and in a way, it feels ridiculous to ship eco-friendly diapers halfway around the world so that I can save Mother Earth. So instead I just waffle and feel guilty with every diaper I throw away. Maybe the guilt will drive me to full-time EC.

But back to the communication (or lack thereof). I then read Jane Brody's column about talking to your child instead of looking at your cell phone or iPod.

The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association urges parents to reinforce communication efforts by looking at the baby and imitating vocalizations, laughter and facial expressions.

“Talk while you are doing things,” the association suggests. “Talk about where you are going, what you will do once you get there, and who and what you’ll see.”

You might say things like, “Now we’re going to put on your socks,” “We’re going in the car to see Grandma,” or, “When we get to the playground, I’ll push you on the swing.”

Reading this, I felt another twinge of guilt, because although sometimes I do find myself fighting the urge to check email when DS is awake, my real challenge is finding a way to talk to DS about the things we are doing. As the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (Is this a real organization? Who do they represent? Everyone who speaks, uses language or hears? I guess it makes a potentially huge membership pool.) recommends, it's as easy as just giving a travelogue or pointing out things in the house. But I hear myself doing that and it sounds so unnatural. "There's a book, there's your toy, that's blue ..." I am trying to get over my weird fear/shyness, but it's difficult. I think that's why I like EC, it's more like listening to your baby instead of being the one in charge of the talk. And now that I think about it, DS is really a rather vocal little child. He loves to talk and will babble on and on while I give him baths and get him dressed. Maybe he doesn't need me to talk to him because he's already figured out that I'm a good listener. ;)

Photo from Seth W. via Flickr, used through Creative Commons License

Aches and Pains

For all you wimps out there who think early potty training is not for you, use me as an example. After taking a week off of potty-training for my soon-to-be 9-month old because of travel, I started again in full force but managed to tweak my left lat after a day of lifting DS over the big potty. (I was also one of those new moms who developed De Quervain's tendonitis

after lifting DS one too many times from his playpen.) So we will go back to using the little potty and hoping that DS will soon learn to climb onto it on his own.

Despite the aches and pains, I'm still convinced that early potty training is the way to go, and not just because I don't like to change dirty diapers (which like my co-blogger I do hate with a vengeance). It's because my active 20-pounder feels much freer out of his bulky diaper. You can see the joy in his face when he is released from his disposables and allowed to crawl and roll around in the buff. I may sound like a broken record about this but it's what keeps me trying with EC.

I liken the experience of potty training to that of a puppy. Can you imagine forcing a puppy to wear a diaper for the first year or two of his life? He'd be the laughingstock of his puppy peers. Just like we train puppies to eliminate in a certain place (e.g., on a pad, outdoors on grass), we should be able to train our just-as-smart babies to eliminate on cue or based on some other "trigger" (e.g., sitting on one's potty, or removal of one's diaper/underpants).

I truly believe that anything worth doing takes effort, whether you're a superwoman or not, so we'll push forward--temporary back pain and all.

Worth the effort

This last week has not been a particularly good one for elimination communication in my home. I think it started because I got sick, and I got lazy. Plus the kid is getting kind of heavy and I was in a weakened state. So all I was trying to do was catch DS's #2s. He is usually pretty consistent (after breakfast) so it wasn't really all that hard. After that, I would occasionally try for a #1, but generally I just left him in a diaper. Then he got sick, and the #2 became less predictable. So I was watching a little more closely, but he was also little loose, and I missed a few. And man, do I dislike cleaning up a missed #2. And I don't mean it was "missed" and ended up all over the floor or anything. I just mean he pooped in his diaper. Now that I'm used to not cleaning up sat-upon baby poop, cleaning up after an in-diaper poop is really quite a drag.

Which brings me to this realization. The small amount of effort required to get your baby accustomed to going #2 in a toilet is so worth the payoff of avoiding the post-poop wipe down. Seriously. Hold your baby over a toilet. It's worth it, I promise. DS is no longer sick, and we are back to a #2-in-the-toilet routine. I may qualify as the world's laziest part-time ECer, but I don't clean up poop. (Very often.) Just something to think about.

Babywearing

Many EC advocates also advocate babywearing as a way to be more in touch with your baby's elimination cues. I found myself carrying my son a lot, mostly because we live downtown and the sidewalks are uneven at best, and frequently completely unnavigable. Taking a stroller is possible, but it means taking even longer to get anywhere I want to go. So I usually just carry DS, which has led me on a months-long search for the best carrier. First, some sites about carrying baby:
The Baby Wearer has useful articles about babywearing.
The Sling Station offers a variety of slings

Here are my thoughts on the pros and cons of each of the following carriers:

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Air

I think that this design is the same as the classic Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier, it just uses a different wicking-type of fabric for those of us who live in ridiculously hot climates.

Ease of Use: Putting the Baby Bjorn on is a breeze. It is also easy to put baby in, and once in, the baby is very secure. I never worried about my son squirming out, because it is really not possible.

Comfort: The Baby Bjorn is great for infants, I loved walking around the city with my son tucked cutely in front of me. But as soon as he was about 15 lbs (7 kilos), I noticed it was more difficult to wear the Baby Bjorn for long periods of time without it really affecting my shoulders and back. Also, if the two shoulder straps aren't exactly even, the Bjorn seems to put all the weight on whichever shoulder's strap is slightly tighter. It seems that if your baby leans to one side or the other it will throw off this perfect balance. Also, some babywearing camps say that carrying your baby with the weight mainly on the crotch will lead to spinal damage. I think that limited use of the Bjorn isn't going to do long-term damage, as I think most adults get sick of carrying a baby long before the baby does.

Temperature: The 'Air' version seems to provide air flow to the baby, though the straps going across your back are solid, so you'll be sweating there, and you and your baby are pressed belly-to-belly, so you and the baby will probably create some heat there. Basically it provides more air circulation to the baby's back, which is good, but limited relief for the adult.

Slinglings

Pouch sling made in Seattle, suitable for newborn up to 35 lbs.

Ease of Use: By far the smallest and most convenient of the baby carriers, my slingling is super compact, and ridiculously light. It's basically a pouch that you put over your head and one arm. In theory you can put an infant in it hammock-style, but my son wouldn't have any of that. Once he was big enough to kind of sit, I started using the Slingling with him sitting on my hip with his legs out. He is not a legs-in kind of child. Simple to use. No straps or extra fabric.

Comfort: This is pretty comfortable, I think getting the right size is very important, but assuming you do procure the correct size, a Slingling is an easy way to simulate carrying your baby with your arms, while still freeing up your arms. DS is six months now, and as he has gotten bigger he seems more comfortable in the Slingling. When I initially started putting him in the seated position, I was worried that if he squirmed or straightened too much he could slide through. (This is probably more an indicator of his being too small for the position, but still.) I'd recommend the seated position for babies that are at least 12 lbs, and I see lots of infants being worn hammock-style in a pouch sling, so there is a good chance it would work for a different baby.

Temperature: I have the black sling, which can be roasty toasty in the sun, but is also good for when DS wants to fall asleep, it makes the inside of the sling pocket quite dark. The fabric is 97% cotton 3% lycra, it's fairly breathable and not terribly thick, but whenever he falls asleep in it, he wakes up rather warm or sweating. It's not too hot on the wearer, and if you employ a fabric flip on the shoulder, even less of your body is covered by the fabric.

Ring Sling

Assorted manufacturers, suitable from newborn to 35 lbs.

Ease of Use: I found the ring sling provided a level of adjustability that was lacking from the Slingling, but it also comes with a lot more fabric. The nice part about a ring sling is that you can set the pouch to about how tight you want it, but then pull on either the bottom side of the fabric or the top side to tighten specific areas (head support, underneath baby's bottom) of the fabric around the baby.

Comfort: Similar to the Slingling, the ring sling distributes your baby's weight over one shoulder and the opposite hip.

Temperature: This is hotter than the Slingling, but not as hot as the Moby Wrap. Some companies produce linen or other more breathable material versions that might make the ring sling less hot, but I've found that draping material around oneself always leads to an increase in overall temperature, regardless of the fabric type.


Moby Wrap
The Moby Wrap is basically a long piece of fabric that you can wrap around you and your baby in a variety of ways.

Ease of Use: I found the length of the Moby Wrap to be hard to maneuver. Especially if you are trying to put it on in a parking lot or other not-so-clean place. Keeping the ends of the wrap off the ground is nigh impossible. I think this is a baby carrier that is difficult to get used to using, but once you do, the payoff is high. As long as you live in a cold climate.

Comfort: The Moby Wrap is comfortable, my son always feels secure (to me) when he's wrapped in it. I really liked this carrier for the early months, when my son was small and just slept and wanted to be held. It provides a close carry, but because of that it can be rather hot.

Temperature: Toasty. To be worn in cold weather or well-air-conditioned environments. It is cotton, but I found that humidity is a killer with this wrap. Warm but breezy places might be ok. The user guide's photos are all of a woman wearing a sweatshirt on a beach, so if you live in Southern California, this is the carrier for you. One nice thing about the Moby Wrap is that if you do live in a cold place and are taking baby outside at length but need to breastfeed, you can wrap up in the Moby skin-to-skin, then put a (large) button up shirt over both of you, or in less breastfeedy situation, put the Moby over your clothes, but put your coat over you and the baby. I like this idea, but haven't tried it.

Scootababy
I just recently got a Scootababy, and so far I've really enjoyed it. The carrier has a minimum weight of 12 lbs (6.8 kg), so it's not for newborns. It also requires a little bit of sitting ability. I'd recommend it start being used once you naturally being carrying your baby on your hip.

Ease of Use: It's pretty simple. There is one buckle on the waist belt, and the other strap just goes over your head. The thing I've enjoyed most about this is the shoulder straps are very easy to adjust with one hand. This makes slight adjustments to the whole setup quite simple, which makes for a pleasant carrying experience.

Comfort: The shoulder strap has a stretchy fleece section that rests over your shoulder, and it is brilliant. The distribution of weight is fabulous, there is no cutting into your neck or arm. This carrier truly does put the baby's weight all on your hips. It mimics almost exactly the natural action of carrying your baby on your hip. Except that you have your arms free!

Temperature: The interior of the Scootababy is textured to give some air flow to the baby, which it seems to do. It is still warm though, as is any large piece of fabric placed behind your baby. The waist strap must be worn tight across your hips, so it's warm, which is to be expected. One downside to the side carry is that putting something over your shoulder restricts the movement of that arm. I found I was sweating more from the non-baby side because I couldn't lift that arm up as much for ventilation.
One other great thing about Scootababy is their demo video. Just watch until she lifts her child into the carrier and tell me whether or not you are surprised he's still being carried.

Combi Milliyocca
I bought this carrier in Asia, it's a Combi product. I have yet to really find any instructions in English, but it seems pretty straightforward. It is kind of a hybrid pouch sling, with a little corset-style flair.

Ease of Use: Pretty simple - goes over your head and one arm, baby sits inside. One advantage to this sling is that there is an additional piece of fabric on the inside of the sling that has two leg holes (like the baby swings), which makes it so that your baby couldn't just straighten up her/his body and slide out the bottom.

Comfort: Not great. It's simple, but designed to rest against your neck, which can only last so long. Plus, the sling seems designed for a baby who can hold his/her head up, but the wearer's comfort would significantly decrease with the increasing weight of the child.

Temperature: Cool. The Milliyocca's minimal fabric makes for good hot-weather wearing for both carrier and carried.

REI Piggyback Child Carrier

This is the hard-core hiking version of a baby carrier. It has a lot of features that will appeal to people who are looking to take longer outings - a place for a water bladder, a toy clip, a backpack for extra gear, a water bottle pocket, a padded headrest for baby. There are probably other things too, it's a gear junkie's baby carrier.

Ease of Use: If you don't mind fastening a lot of buckles, it's pretty straightforward, but not quick. The baby has to be buckled in, which means putting him/her through shoulder straps and fastening a waist belt, then two outer wing protectors. Once the child is secure, the carrier puts on the backpack, which has a waist strap and shoulder straps. And that's assuming you have both baby and adult's strap-height adjustments all correct. If you are a regular backpacking outdoorsperson, this carrier will not be complicated, but if you've never owned an external frame pack, I'd recommend going into REI to get fitted and to learn about adjusting the straps.

Comfort: The carrier is comfy if you have the pack adjusted correctly for your height. The weight of the pack will rest mainly on your hips, but you can adjust the shoulder straps to redistribute the weight. The child's seat is padded, but looks like it might be kind of narrow for those worried about the proper spinal position. My son is just now big enough to be carried in this, and he seems to really enjoy it. I think as he gets a little bigger we will take him out in it more.

Temperature: Pretty warm for the adult, as you have a large backpack pressed against your back and a thick padded waistbelt around your middle. My son seems to stay quite cool, though, so this pack is good for the child's temperature. And if you're really hiking, you were planning on getting sweaty, right?

What baby carriers do you like? What works or doesn't for your lifestyle, temperature, and particular baby preferences?

Potty Training Books

DS and I hit a lull in potty training--I kept missing cues--so I headed to the library to find some books for guidance. I borrowed two books about potty training at a young age and a general book on potty training. The latter was not particularly useful to me, though it did include a chapter about how older children can be potty-trained in one day, which makes me wistful until I remember it would suck to be a baby stuck in a lumpy diaper for several years.

The other books gave me the boost I needed - Potty Training Your Baby by Katie Warren did not rate high on Amazon but I appreciated the author's positive attitude towards potty training and parenting. It was also refreshing to read a non-EC account of how you can potty train your child early (potty training secrets have been passed down in her family from generation to generation). Unlike EC, however, Warren says that babies should wait until they can sit on their own before getting started.

The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh is great for anyone going the EC route. Gross-Loh has suggestions for EC-ers starting out at different stages - newborn, middle infancy, mobile baby and toddler. She also elaborates on what it means to be a full-time, part-time or occasional EC-er, which helps to take the pressure off of parents who think they need to be practicing EC 24-7. She reviews concepts like EC "on-the-go" and how to EC at night, and also lets parents off the hook if they don't want to EC at those times. Finally, the book includes a helpful resource section listing online retailers selling EC (and babywearing) gear, potty training and parenting support groups on Yahoo and elsewhere online, and publications about EC.

So I'm reinvigorated and have launched back into part-time EC-ing with a vengeance. Takeaways from both books: don't stress, keep it fun, and go with the flow. Another added benefit of early potty training which both authors mention is that it makes you more attuned to your child and creates a unique bond between parent and child, similar to teaching him/her any new skill. It's creating a bond between Grandma and grandson as well!

Peeing Vs. Going #2

I thought that BMs would be easier to train than peeing, but now that I'm a couple of days into more than occasional Elimination Communication, I'm finding that #1 is easier to train. DS successfully peed in his potty twice yesterday and once today. All of the incidents occurred after waking in the morning or post-nap. We had a spraying incident yesterday, but the other times DS waited until I had positioned him on his potty chair and for me to give him the psss-psss signal before he peed. This is big progress for us, because in the past DS would often pee when I lifted his diaper off.

When he did go into BM mode, I put him on the potty with his clothes on so he could start associating sitting on the potty with going #2. (He usually finishes his BMs too quickly for me to get his diaper off to get on the potty.) Since he started using a baby potty chair, he stopped following the pattern of going #2 right after eating, so it's hard to predict when he'll go. So we'll focus on peeing for now.

Having saved a couple of disposables through EC just over the past couple of days, I've been motivated to find a greener diaper alternative but became overwhelmed quickly after reading about gdiapers, tushies, happy heinys, bumgenius and other flushable/cloth variations with cute names. I tried Huggies' Pure & Natural diapers, which are made of organic cotton and some renewable materials but don't really do much to reduce the number of diapers in landfills. I also obtained a pair of the open-crotch diapers that one of my sisters brought back from a trip to China and am keen to give them a try.

As my co-blogger and other EC-ers have mentioned, success in EC means changing the parent's attitude about elimination and what is acceptable in terms of convenience, messiness, and not expecting that a baby will be diaper-free overnight. I do think someone should invent a just-in-case diaper that is easy to pull off for EC training, but maybe that's unrealistic and, echoing Morgan's earlier blog post, would just be an infant-potty-training crutch. The important thing is that DS thinks that getting on the potty is a new game and it doesn't disrupt his routine or make him upset. In fact he quite enjoys sitting on his potty chair and being out of his diaper.